the love of my life…

They say that you spend a lifetime to find the woman of your lifeà my search is.. unfortunately overà

Back in 1987, the summer of my life as it would later appear, I literally fell of my bicycle when laying my eyes on the most beautiful girl in the worldà
Her name was Susanne and she was 3 years younger than me, a gap being quite big at that age ( I was 16+ at the time). That was the first and only time that I have ever fallen in love with a girl at first glance. I later found out that her inside was as beautiful as her appearance. For some reason, she reacted the same way which resulted in my first real love, a summer love that lasted for 6 wonderful weeksà
We were the first for eachother in every way, making every step being that of an infant learning to walk. Slowly, carefully exploring the bounderies of a sexuality just beginning to flourishà That moment, when I first bared her fresh young breasts.. when I first touched her small nipples with my tounge to suck them slowly into my mouthà To hear her moan in tune with this new unexpected sensation, and me knowing I was the first one to do this to her the first time I ever did it myself. It was all so surreal, so extraordinary. When I relieved her of her soaked panties… When I, without knowing why, kissed her there and it all felt so natural… It was as we were guided by a superior knowledge surpassed through generations of wisdom.
We never finnished as in ôwe never had intercourseö. We didnÆt have to. What we shared back then was worth far more than risking an unwanted ôendö of our so called relationship.

Now, 12+ years later, I have discovered myself againà as much as I have discovered real true love. Through all these years, weÆve been real close and good friends, sharing laughs and depressions alike. She met somebody in the fall of the same year as our summer, someone she has lived with up till 2 months ago from now. Somebody I liked a lot, someone I thought sheÆd eventually marry. Apparently, that will never happen.
When she called me on my mo-phone and asked how I felt about being ôharassedö by a young country girl for the weekend to come, I of course answered that IÆd be delighted, then not knowing of her separation.
Friday came and went, leaving nothing but saturday morning in my mind. We hadnÆt seen eachother in a while, her living in the northern part of the country making our casual visits fewer with time. After finnishing work I headed for my flat to do some cleaning up before she arrived (sha had spent friday/saturday at a friendsÆ place).
At six pm my doorbell rang, and when opening the door seeing her for the first time in person for 3 years, I realized that she truly IS the most beautiful woman this earth has createdà
Our greeting was formal yet personal, leaving us feeling quite comfortable despite the fact that we hadnÆt actually seen eachother for three years.
We had so much to talk aboutà She told me the story of her separationà a separation after a 12 year relationship.. I told her the story of my situation (which is far too boring to mention here…) making us getting really hungry after a few hours. The first idea of making downtown unsafe for the night qickly resigned when we realized that China take-out was the right thing to do. Her, being as hungry as ever and me being the gentÆ I am allowed her to order 5(!) dishes + rice that we had in my sofa bed while talking about everything and nothingà As we should have anticipated, that amount of food plus the exhaustion from talking so much leaved us tired wanting to meet up with the sandman more than anything else.
The thing was.. after having made the bed æn all (well, yes.. 2 covers and 2 pillows), we were all worked up and the tiredness had flewn away totally leaving us talking away for another 3 hours. When our eyes finally begun to flicker, her soft voice whispered those tender words; ôdo you mind me sleeping on your arm?ö.
I have never slept so good in my entire lifeà and never so unexpectedly shortà At 3 am I woke up. I was clear awake thinknig / believing that the time was around 10 or 11 in the morning.
When I turned to my side, I looked inte the most beautiful eyes there are. You just donÆt wake up at the same time, you donÆt.. but here we were…
Now we were more quiet than before.. the words being softer and more moving.
As a result of how we had been sleeping, caressing her came naturally, and her response was very soft and gentleà I donÆt think either of us thought about what then happened.. it just did…
Suddenly, I was 16+ again, knowing that her neck was the most sensitive part of her body.
When gently kissing / biting / blowing her there, she moaned and pushed her rear towards me, giving away my manhoodà ôso, you arenÆt unaffected either?ö she asked with a dim voice.
æHow could I be?Æ I answered and from then on, we finnished what we had begun that time so many years ago.
She was my first experience of physical love.. and after 12 hours in my bed that sunday 12 years after the first time, I had had my best experience ever.
I loved Susanne back then and I now have come to the conclusion that I have never stopped loving her. It hasnÆt been the right time for us yet, but I know that if I meet her again in another 12 years I will propose to her. I pray she feels the same way and that she wants to go by my side when the time is right.

Thank you Susanne for giving me the best years of my lifeàI will never forget you.

yours truly, J

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