Where it happened: College Dorm Bed
Langauge: English
Sex: Male
Rating: 5
Category: Straight
My first time was absolutely awful. I was so nervous, excited, anxious, stoned, stressed, tired, and just lousy.! Here it goes:
It was just a case of me being high and stupid… I sent out a text message to a few girls when i was horny, and got one back. She said come upstairs, i was like why? and her response- do you want to fuck me?
I of course said yes, but had no real romantic feelings for this girl, just me wanting so desperately and badly to have sex for the first time. To be honest, i wasn’t all that attracted to her, but in my mind it didn’t matter- she was attractive enough were most people would say she’s hot, so I headed up stairs on Sunday night at like 1 in the morning and replied, yes.
I waited outside her door for like five minutes feeling like a complete idiot, and when i was just starting to walk away she came up the stairs and it was kind of awkward to be honest, she kissed me i was surprised and hesitant so the tone started out bad. Then she opened the door to her room, my roommates gone for spring break… and then we start kissing more intensely and dry-humping for like twenty minutes, and she took off her clothes really fast and said, come on aren’t you going to take your pants off? I felt a little scared and dropped trow. She said, fuck me- now. I was a bit taken aback from her barking out and kind of robotically not knowing what i was doing kinda floated over to a few inches away fro her on her bed. She grabbed me and said, come on why aren’t you doing it yet. I felt mocked and got serious. But, unfortunately as serious and tough as i was, the overall situation must’ve ruined my spirits, because the actual event lasted a whole whopping twenty seconds or so, but it took a good minute for me to actually get in, and on top of things when i asked about a condom she kind of looked at me like i was an idiot, so in my dumb brain i was like ok, so don’t have, uh i guess don’t need one! haha
After I severely prematurely ejaculated inside, my penis went limp and it was a great pleasure temporarily yes, but outmatched by the downside f things. She kept asking me what was up and why this and that and just kept saying whats the deal whats wrong come on fuck me already. Ouch. not like i needed an ego anyways.
All throughout my teenage years I thought all I wanted was sex, no matter what, that’s it. simple as that. then i got that wish and I realized holy shit was that fucking dumb. never again. I’m always going to wrap up and wont be with an unrespective partner. i couldn’t physically get in a groove because mentally i had been getting chipped away until i felt like i was pressured beaten down and inferior. Not myself and not someone who i felt like could operate normally and functionally.
If I could, I’d do over and not go through with it, like normal nights when i send out stupid messages in hopes and get responses but too chicken to actually go through with it.
So yeah, it was cool, but so not cool at the same time. From now on, I’m going to start thinking before I do really fucked up shit like this again.
Haha 😛
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