The thing I remember about my first time was how gentle the woman was and how surprisingly able I was to make an experienced woman extremely satisfied. If I had not been able to satisfy her, I would have felt like such a failure. I would have felt as if I had just used her for my own pleasure, and I did not want to feel that way. I wanted my first time to be a mutually enjoyable experience. I think it was the fear that I would not be able to satisfy a woman that kept from continuing relationships where sex was likely to happen.
I 4 years old when I lost my virginity. I was a college graduate. I had dated several women, but most of the women I had dated were the kind of women who wanted to get married first before having sex. I am not sure all of them were virgins, but I did not seek women out in order to have sex with them. I wanted a relationship.
I know, in today’s world, people are a little cautious when they think about men in the mid twenties who have not had sex with a woman. They think they are nerds or gay or somehow unable to relate to women.
I was not like that. I had known many nice girls. I had been in love. They had written love letters to me. I had held them. I had kissed them passionately. It was the early days of the feminist movement. I wanted to be a traditional Husband and father with a stay at home wife. The problem was, the entry-level jobs that I was finding paid much less than the jobs most women were getting and did not even require a college education. I was beginning to think that I would have been better off marrying a girl right out of high school and going right to work instead of going to college. I of a few people for whom a college education was a waste of money. I did not party in college. Maybe I should have. Maybe, if I had partied more, I would have made more friends and contacts. At the very least, they could have furnished the nucleus of a life insurance network if I had wanted to sell life insurance.
I had had chances. My senior year in high school, after a night of heavy petting, which included genital petting, a girl asked me to come over to her sister’s empty house one afternoon. She must have had sex on her mind. I could not lie to my parents, though, in order to get access to the car. Although I was an adult, I lived in their home and was still accountable to them for my whereabouts.
During my college years, although I had dates, I did not get close to having sex. I might have misread some signals though. One time, after a date, the woman took me back to her company apartment. She started reaching and groping for my private parts. She went after me before I dared touch her there. I, of course, responded, somewhat clumsily. It was not as gentle and tender as it had been in high school. I stripped for this woman, but she did not want to take off her panty hose. I think she was just teasing me at that time, although in subsequent dates, she would dry hump me to orgasm.
Another time, I was studying advanced chemistry with a woman. One night she met me for a study session dressed in short tight cutoffs and a blouse tied around her middle, exposing a very flat, sexy, midriff. At the end of the study session, she asked me to follow her to her apartment, which I did. To this day, I do not know whether she was trying to turn me on. After all, those were the days of liberated women, and we men were being told not to read anything sexual into what women wore. I was very turned on, but I kept it secret, afraid that by suggesting that the woman excited me sexually would be taken as an insult to her intelligence.
woman had touched my penis before I met the woman who seduced me. I had not gotten an erection when she touched me. I cannot explain why. The woman had nice breasts. She kissed deeply, and she expressed desire for me, but she just did not excite me. I cannot explain it.
Anyway, I met this woman at a church singles retreat. She was divorced. She did not have a college education. She was a single working mother with a child. I would not say she was my ideal wife, yet she was beautiful. Before that, I considered divorced women off limits. I really did not want to marry a woman without a college education, because I was afraid the difference in our educational backgrounds might lead to conflict and disharmony. I had conversed with graduate students before. I did not want to exploit a woman just because she had less education than I had. I wanted to meet and marry a woman as an equal.
I could not avoid looking at that divorced woman. She was beautiful, and she kept returning my glances and smiling at me. Finally, I got up the courage to ask her for dinner and she accepted. Afterwards, we just sat in her car and kissed while the windows fogged up.
There followed a deep relationship. We had passionate telephone conversations. We dreamed of marriage. I was talking of marriage within a month after I met her. She was s older, but she made me feel mature beyond my years. She responded to me as if she were a young girl and we were back in high school. I would have expected her to be hard and bitter, but she was soft and sweet.
The way she seduced me could not have been more tender. I met her at her apartment after a game of tennis. I had no intention to have sex with her. We embraced and kissed deeply. Then she went back to the bedroom to get some pillows so we could get down on the floor. I met her in the hallway and led her back to the bed.
I stripped naked. She joined me on the bed and we kissed. Then she kissed her way down to my belly and took my penis in her mouth. When she did that, I could only moan her name breathlessly. I can honestly say I have never felt anything that wonderful. There is no way to duplicate that feeling. A hand job with lotion or oil does not come close. Her mouth and tongue were exquisite.
It was enough for me. I did not ask to ejaculate into her mouth. She had brought me enough pleasure. I felt obligated to return the pleasure. I reached for her panties and she helped me remove them. I crawled between her legs and tried to line up to enter her. I missed. Then she took my penis into her hand and guided me in. She did not tease. She did not laugh. She did not condemn my clumsiness. I told her I was a virgin and she accepted me just as I was.
She was so well lubricated and open I could hardly feel anything. She had an IUD. I was a virgin and she was sexually discriminating, so I did not use a condom. I wasn’t prepared with a condom anyway. I felt everything. I had expected the sensation to be so intense I could not delay my ejaculation. Yet, with her, I felt like I could go forever. I do not mean that to be an insult to her. In fact, she was perfect. She was feeling stimulation. It was not long before she told me to slow down, because she was approaching orgasm. She finally could not contain her orgasm anymore and she let herself go. After she let herself go, she said, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t wait.” I could not believe I had satisfied a woman the first time I had sex. It was much better than I had ever expected. To me, there is no greater compliment a woman can pay a man than to respond to him with an orgasm.
After continuing for a while, it did not appear that I would ejaculate, so we got out and took a shower. She played with me in the shower with her hands. She did not bring me to ejaculation, but she gave me a lot of pleasure.
After getting out of the shower, we looked at each other in the mirror. It was the first time I had looked at a woman completely naked in the flesh. I had seen one set of live naked breasts and I had only caressed the breasts of two women before that. It was a rare treat to stand in front of a mirror with a beautiful blond woman and admire her body while she admired mine. She told me, as we stood there, that she liked my body. That was so important, because I had never felt like I had anything to offer a woman in terms of my physique. I am not fat but I am not muscular either. I do not look powerful, and I was surprised that a beautiful woman would find me so attractive.
I went out and lay on the living room floor. She came in dressed in a red satin robe. I opened her robe and began to move toward her vagina with my mouth. I did not know how to stimulate a woman with my mouth. I kissed her there clumsily and then moved on up and entered her with my penis. Again, after a few minutes, she reached her orgasm before I felt anywhere near one. Her orgasms were gentle sighs. She did not moan, beg, and scream for more, but it was clear that her body tensed and she let out short gasps of pleasure, after which her body completely relaxed, with a big smile on her face. There is no way she was faking it, because neither of us were in a hurry. She had no reason to fake it.
This time, I was determined to get mine. I put a pillow under her buttocks and slammed in and out of her with great power and frequency. Finally, I got enough sensation to get an ejaculation. After I ejaculated, she said, “don’t leave,” and she reached back to cup my balls in her hands. We just lay there a while until I went soft. Then, she went out and got a warm wash rag to clean me off.
We lay together and talked for a while. I wondered aloud if I was big enough for her, and she assured me I was. I am 5 7/8″ in circumference and 6.5″ in length. I asked her what she liked best, and she said she liked it when I went deep. She told me I was “gentle, but firm.” She told me she could not believe it was my first time. Everything she said was so complimentary. She made me feel like a real man for a change. With every affirming word of hers, I felt more a part of her life and felt a greater need for her in my life.
After talking for a while, I got another erection. This time she tried to mount me, but she could not. We sat facing each other. I pulled her to me and entered her. I caught her eyes looking down to where we were connected. I then picked her up with me inside of her and carried her to the bedroom. She said that was a first for her.
In bed, I rolled over and let her take me from the top. I can still see her smiling face looking down at me as I played with her breasts. I can see her leaning back, closing her eyes in ecstatic pleasure. I finally turned her over and began to take her from the top. For a time that evening, she beat me to orgasm. With my first load gone, I had to work hard to unload that last time. I felt brutal, although she did not complain. She just pulled her knees back to her chest and let me thrust away until I got my ejaculation. Again, when it was over, she reached around to hold my tight balls in her hands while my erection subsided.
Having sex with that woman violated my principles about what was right in the male/female relationship. I knew we should be married, but my parents would not accept a divorced woman into the family. I was facing a dilemma. I loved her and wanted her, but my parents would not have her. I had some career issues that were not settled. I had picked the fruit before it was ripe and I felt guilty. I told her I felt guilty, and she told me not to feel guilty.
We continued our relationship through the summer, until she found another boyfriend. We did not have sex again, though I am sure she would have been willing if I had suggested it. I was the strong one. One day I met her at her apartment for tennis. She knew we were supposed to play tennis, but she was still dressed in her work uniform. She told me she was in a funny mood, but she did not tell me what she wanted to do. Had she told me she needed my body, she could have had me. I am sure, if I had told her I needed her body, she would have given herself to me. We were both divided in our thinking. Our desire for each other was strong, but we were uncertain about our future relationship and we wanted a semblance of purity, although we had already had sex. We were fighting our urges.
We parted on friendly terms. She even agreed to attend a musical with me after she had become engaged. I thought it was best that she not show disloyalty to her fiancée, so we did not go. It of the last times I saw her. I was happy that she had found a husband and a family that would accept her.
I have nothing but good words to say about her. I’ve told my wife about her and my wife thinks she was just trying to sleep her way into a relationship with a college boy who had potential as a breadwinner. She thinks she acted like a slut. I cannot bring myself to think of that woman in such low terms. She was more than gentle. She opened my eyes. She educated me into what women need and want. She bared her soul to me and she let me minister to her soul. She made me feel like a man. I could not help but love her.
I cannot say I worshipped her body, but her body did nourish me. She gave me deep insight. Sharing a woman’s orgasm is a deeply moving experience. To feel bonded to a woman as she rides those waves of ecstasy is to become more fully aware of one’s humanness and unique role as a male. Every sigh, every desperate moan, and every cry for more expresses dependence, trust, and confidence. I cannot forget that woman.
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Sheri
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