Where it happened: My bedroom
Langauge: English
Sex: Female
Rating: 10
Category: Straight
My first time was when I was 17. Me and my boyfriend (who I am still with today) were going out for ten months before we decided it was the right time for us. I had been on the birth control pill for 7 months before I lost my virginity to him.
Now for the backstory: I was a virgin, he wasn’t. He had lost his virginity when he was 15 to a girl he had been in a relationship with for approximately four months. Unfortunately, they did not use protection and it happened over twenty times in a span of three or so months. He only had one orgasm ever with her, and that was the last time they actually had intercourse. (For the fear that came later of pregnancy) They broke up the following year. The relationship was never a loving one, as they were both young, and my boyfriend did it because he thought that was what she wanted. They never spoke about sex, buying birth control, the implications sexual intercourse could bring, such as pregnancy and emotional reprecussions, and the sex itself was always awkward; unloving.
When you have unprotected sex, it does not just affect the two people involved. If you break up, it can affect later relationships as well, as I have been devastaingly hurt by this realization of their unprotected sex, and my and my boyfriend have been going out for a year and a half now, however, I am still not over it and, quite honestly, do not believe I ever will be.
Now, I love my boyfriend dearly, and this is why it has damaged me so: when you love someone as much as you do, and you think that you know that you should be together after a long time of being happy and in love, it hurts to not be able to have him/her share their first time with you, or vice versa. My boyfriend feels terrible and knows that, in all reality, it SHOULD have been me.
We have an amazing, understanding relationship where we respect each other’s wishes. Before having actual sex, we had experimented with foreplay and other activities. Throughout those first ten months, we experienced kissing of all kinds (it’s always fun to experiment with those as well as romantic- the longest kiss, the sloppiest kiss, etc. ) light petting, heavy petting, just lying together nude, (really admiring and appreciating each other’s bodies for what they were, NOT what they weren’t!!) as well as oral sex. Before intercourse, we talked thoroughly about EVERYTHING, from “what if it hurts” to “what if we make a weird farty-type noise” to “what happens if we get pregnant”. We decided and discussed all of these things in great detail, and with great love, care, and understanding, decided to have sex.
What made our first time not only pleasurable but a positive experience, I believe, are the following things:
1. We TALKED to each other. Not just “Hey, you wanna do it?” “Okay!” but really hours and hours of talking to each other about important decisions we needed to make; all couples need to make.
2. We already knew each other’s bodies inside out from previous experience with one another (This is important not only to make you feel comfortable and knowledgable, not asking yourself “hey, what are those ball-like things hanging under his penis?” but also: the more you know, the more receptive you can be to your partner, knowing what feels good, what doesn’t, as well as this comfortability minimizes pain experienced in the first time and maxamizes pleasure!)
3. We were with each other for quite a long time. While everyone has their bare-minimum before they will engage in cerain sexual activity, we took things slow but steady and enjoyed learning about each other’s reactions. The more time you wait before engaging in sexual activity/intercourse, the better you know each other’s bodies, likes and dislikes, as well as simply EACH OTHER! What is better than knowing your partner fully, so that when it is time for sex, you TRULY ARE ONE!
4. We will be and want to be together forever. Skeptics will disagree as we are only 18, but, we talk constantly about the future, from plans of the scheme of our bathroom, to financial troubles, to our children’s names. We have a plan to move out next spring and are currently each saving $30 from each of our paycheques to make that happen, as well as attain our dream wedding.
So, please, keep these four things in mind, and remember that your first time should be completely comfortable, as well as consensual (do not feel pressured to have sex, wait until you are ready and you know it, with not a single doubt in your mind) You should also use protection to protect yourself from pregnancy and STD’s/STI’s. (FREE birth control such as condoms and pills are often available at your local doctor, gynecologist, teen klinic, etc.) Enjoy yourself, enjoy your partner, and enjoy the love you can produce when everything is planned, arranged and talked about carefully.
Stay safe!
Love you all,
Rachel.
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