I am writing this story for all those people who have not given the “gift” of their virginity to someone yet. Don’t do what I did. I was so anxious to “lose it” that I rushed my secret boyfriend into doing it and he freaked out and rejected me. I paid a big price let me tell you.
I and he 3 the summer we really started to like each other. He got my attention because I had had a crush on his older brother from the time I . They lived in a big big city and I lived in the isolated country so anytime they visited I totally idolized them because they were so glamourous. Big brother didn’t notice me but his cute little brother did so I basked in his attention and gently teased him but thought Whoa! 13 is way too young!
One night he and my own brother and two other boys were crashed out in bed. I snuck up and lay next to him. I started kissing and sucking his fingers because they looked so good. He pretended to be asleep but later told me he woke up and said “what the hell is that?” Then I pretended to be asleep and he did the same to me. It was innocent but let me tell you I got electric shocks in places I never knew before.
He had to go back to the big city soon after that but the next summer he came up to our country place again. He and I and I wasn’t sure he liked me. That night he, my brother, cousin and I hiked to an old deserted cabin my dad built years before. It had no electricity or running water. That night as we all lay telling stories he and I started caressing each other secretly in the dark. Wow, did I get a rush just touching him after we had waited for each other all year. When my brother and cousin fell asleep I jumped in his sleeping bag and we clumsily made out like the two very inexperienced lovers we were.
To make a long story short we racked up as much secret “practice time” as we could. He taught me how to handle his cock and I got to see what my tits were for (sucking!)It was all very fun and innocent but I was determined to lose my virginity so one night I brought out this pink condom I stole from my parent’s drawer and put it on his cock. He quietly agreed, it was the blind leading the blind, and before I knew it I was straddling him. I really liked the feeling, it wasn’t painful because I had started using tamponss earlier and I guess didn’t have a hymen anymore. Umm. These gals that say they orgasmed (6 times?!?) the first time have got to be kidding. Orgasm took me another s to learn (I tooks off from sex)–I didn’t even know what a clit was, just penetration.
This is the sad part. The next day I was elated to be a “non-virgin” but he was thorougly grossed out and told me so. I had to say goodbye to him in front of my mother and brother like we were just friends. God it was hard and it screwed me up for another s. Before I lost my virginity I was a brilliant artist but after this happened I lost all my desire to draw but still went to art school and got my degrees but had no passion for art. I am just starting to get my passion back by exploring this whole episode of “losing my innocence”. I am realizing that we are spiritual beings and when we connect on such an intimate level with another and are rejected it can stunt growth. I literally left my creativity buried in that experience. Creativity and innocence.
So be ready when you are want to physically connect deeply with someone for the first time. Don’t lose it to be in the “in crowd” because there’s a lot more to it than people say. Believe me.
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