Where it happened: his bedroom
Langauge: English
Sex: Female
Rating: 6
Category: Straight
I hit puberty with a vengeance. From about the age of twelve on I was desperate to accumulate experiences. I had grown up in a very wealthy suburb of Manhattan. I had always been the perfect daughter.As soon as I left my private school for the local high school, I went nuts. I was out of control. I was willing to send up my nose whatever was handy, and to give blowjobs to any upperclassman who paid attention to me.
In March of my freshman year I went to a rave called Liquid Vision with a bunch of friends. At the rave my friends bumped into a dealer from a nearby town who they bought drugs from, but who I had never met. The thought of him excited me. He was much older than me. He sold drugs. He was bad. I loved it. We hooked up in a corner at the rave and parted ways the next morning. We were so strung out the next day that we didn’t even think to exchange numbers. I thought nothing of the night.
I will never forget the sound of his voice on my answering machine a week or so later. He had spent a week trying to find my number. He couldn’t forget that night, and would I like to get dinner sometime? His voice was deep, confident, older….bad. He was sexy as shit, and I ate it up.
I was fourteen. My parents demanded to know what schools he’d been to and what country club his parents belonged to…they had to do a background check before I could be permitted to go off with him…who was this boy? why hadn’t i mentioned his name before? I had to lie to them. He represented an entirely different world. He was risky, a far cry from the safe, manicured life I had led. I wanted him.
We began dating, and really hit it off. I loved how bad and different he was. He wasn’t one of the boring, polo-clad, preppy boys I’d grown up with. He made me feel wild, grown up….naughty. He loved the fact that I was a pure little rich girl, and wanted nothing more than to take that away from me. He wanted me to be his little fuck….to look pretty on his arm, but secretly be tainting, polluting me. A month into our little “relationship” (I’m not sure I should glorify it with that term) he was arrested for dealing on the way to my house. He made front page of the papers, and my parents went ape shit, flatly forbidding me to ever contact him again. This added a whole new element to our relationship. I had to lie, to do everything secretly, behind people’s backs. I thrived on the risk factor. I used to say I was going running or babysitting or to soccer practice, and he’d pick me up and take me off somewhere and we’d hook up in his car.
After about two months, I sort of felt like he was getting used to me…..he was calling other girls, and i wanted my bad older man all for myself. So I decided to give in, and let him fuck me. I was so nervous. None of my friends had had sex yet. One of them had read in teen magazine or somewhere that if you rode horses your hymen would already have broken and it wouldn’t really hurt. They tried to calm me down with the fact that I was a rider…they were eager to live vicariously through me.
He picked me up one night and we drove the half hour to his house….he bought some “rough rider” condoms on the way in a cvs or somewhere…i was petrified by the mere thought of what i was about to do….certainly not up for any sort of rough ride. He put on some hard-core techno and locked his door and told me to take my clothes off and lie down on the bed. There wasn’t any real preliminary action….he was all business….he wanted to fuck me, he wasn’t about to waste time playing with my breasts or anything. He spread my legs and told me to relax and he forced himself into me. I cannot begin to describe the agony of the next couple of minutes. I was screaming at the top of my lungs for him to stop. He just told me to shhhh and pushed harder and harder. I felt like someone was kicking me really hard, but it wasn’t just stopping t the surface. He was “kicking” me up inside. I had no idea that such pain existed.He rammed into me for what seemed like hours but was in reality only a few minutes until i simply could not tolerate the pain anymore and demanded that he remove himself. I cried. We dressed. And, because he was so cheap and unromantic he had his mother take us to get dinner in town. That is one bacon cheeseburger I will never forget. My crotch burned, and i was in terrible pain. After dinner we went back to his room and he said it waould be much easier from now on. He fucked me again. It was terrible.
We dated for several months after that. I became emotionally attached because i felt i had given myself to him and i needed him. I wanted so badly for him to love me. Several months later, he got kicked out oh his house because his mother didn’t want to be at all associated with statutory rape…..she was already harboring a drug dealer. He begged me for a loan for rent money. I gave him 300 dollars out of my pocket. A couple of weeks later I couldn’t take his bullshit anymore and finnally mustered the balls to break up with him. We arranged to go out to coffee at the end of the summer so that he could repay me. He picked me up, drove me down to the elementary school and parked. It was late at night. He locked the doors. And then he raped me in the front seat of his mom’s volvo, which he had stolen for the night. Afterwords, I managed to get out of his car, battered and half naked. He drove off and left me lying on the grass outside my elementary school.
I haven’t heard from him since. He was a monster. He took everything I had. I pray that I will never lay my eyes upon him again.
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