so, this one day i decided to go to a brothel instead of my school formal, but the brothel turned out to be at a nursing home, and all the old men with erectile dysfunction decided to rape me with their shriveled balls which were inflated with viagra and sticky tape.
unfortunately, my anal clitoris was extremely dry, and caused the tape to shrivel up itself in the month of april. the fourteenth of april, to be precise. you could say, to be exact. you could say, the have monthly outbreaks of genital herpes on my nose.
this made me have female orgasmic urinary incontinence, which made me blast them with period juice. one man caught this in a cup and began to sell it as “the non period blood drink, which is totally not made of period juice.” then, his friend queezo pointed out he lived in a nursing home, and didn’t have a house of his own, and if he had just shut the fuck up, i would now be writing about a hot orgy involving his pet rabbit.
we then began to play street cricket in the backyard with the rabbit as the ball, and the stumps, and the wicket, and even s the batter and bowler. to do this we cut it up into bunny sized pieces, and “queezo” then narrated a story and had random outbursts of laughing. eventually, he pounded a can of devon and spam, but cut his labia minora on the knife that was included in the can of spam. not like internets spam, though, since you can’t cut your dick on teh internets, unless your internet are sharp and have a very small and sharp penis (i.e. your internet is me.)
i then opened up a new christmas present, which was penetrated by bukkake rain which was ejected by some douche bags who were unable to cool their many jets. they then started to suck numerous dicks, one of whch had lots of sheep like curly hair on its head. this dick then proceeded to get wasted at a formal and fell into a flaming torch and tried to throw up in my toilet but accidentally tripped into it and got swallowed by a cat in a cat which was covered in meat fungus.
now, my narrator wants to hear some more stories about sex with 78 year olds (yes you did say that) in nursing homes on viagra with vaginal pumps and machine guns in their vaginas which hoot you when you try to plow them so you need to screw them with a bulletproof vest nstead of your penis, as your penis will not fit, but the vest will.
i then pulled out a ridiculously handsome lad which had a disease called blaids which makes you gay and give shake n’ bake bukkake. and this story is now getting lame and i want some bukkake, so lets all do that.
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