At this time I was really depressed… I had a boyfriend, but he lived in the middle of nowhere about 90 mins away. I was too young to drive, my parents thought it was too far (although they didn’t know he was more than a friend) and there were no buses. I really thought I loved my boyfriend, and wanted him to be my first.
At the same time, it was school holidays, and I spent time wandering around my town. I saw this guy twice just on the street, and the 3rd time he spoke to me. We exchanged numbers, found out we lived a very short walk apart, and I began to go to his house a lot. Before long, we were best friends.
I was very depressed; my family was falling apart, and basically everything was going wrong in my life. The thing about Tom is he’s what some people would brand emo; that’s what caught my eye in the first place (and how fit he is!)Tom was so understanding, always there when I needed him, and whnever things got bad at home I’d run over to his.
One day, I was really pissed with my boyfriend, who wasn’t replying to my messages. I felt really lonely and depressed; so I went to tom’s. I cried for a bit, he put his arm around me, we were in his room. Nothing new, until suddenly his lips met mine. The chemistry between us ignited – I don’t know how I didn’t notice it before – and before long we were frenching; it felt amazing. Tom slid his hands underneath my vest top, and I kissed him back harder, not considering anything except how good his soft touch felt. Soon, my skirt and underwear were off, and so were his jeans and boxers. Shocked – I’d never been further than frenching – I tried to put my fears to one side. He grabbed a condom from his desk, and soon he was inside me. It hurt, but I whispered to him to be gentle. He was, but as soon as the sharp pain was over, he filled me up and he thrusted until we came simultaneously. It was the best feeling of my life, and for a split second I was the happiest girl alive.We had one last soft kiss, and I got dressed and ran home.
The guilt that overcame me was almost unbearable. I didn’t dump my boyfriend, we are still together but things aren’t really working out. The day after my first time, Tom saw me in the park and told me he loved me. I’m so confused, because my boyfriend is amazing, but Tom makes me feel so beautiful and perfect, and I get to see him all the time. I’ve got a tough decision to make!
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