Where it happened: At my friends house
Langauge: English
Sex: Male
Rating: 1
Category: Straight
I grew up as a teenager in the late 1960’s and early 70’s and got heavily involved in the drug and party scene. I guess sex came as a natural extension to my over life at the time. When I was about 15 years old growing up in Southern California, it seemed that all of my friends were smoking pot, getting drunk, and getting “laid”. I started smoking dope when I was fifteen with my friends and tried to get waisted just about every weekend. We would go to various peoples houses and just sit around passing the joint and drinking beer, and of course, acting really stupid. I met a girl at one of these parties that had been part of the dope scene for a few years and was known for being quite sexually active. We hucked up more as friends at first. I used to like to talked to her about how I was feeling or what I wanted to do in life, she share with me the same kind of stuff. (Usually over a joint) About a year and a half later after starting my counter culture lifestyle Cindy and I were sitting around sooting the breeze after everyone else had split, when she ask me if I had ever been with a woman. I did not answer at first for embrassment because I knew she had been with many guys. I decided at that moment that I would not tell her a bunch of bull because she was “cool” and would not give me a hard time over being a virgin. She was a total full fledged sterotypical hippy. She said after I told I had not been with anyone that she really cared about me and wanted to “share her love for me”. What the heck did I know, I was just a normal teenage boy with ragging hormons looking for a good time wherever I could find it. I said lets do it, but I did have some fear that she might get pregant and asked her if she was using anything. She said she was on the pill. After that disscussion, we proceeded up the stairs of my friends house into his parents room and had sex. The whole experience lasted about alittle over an hour. It was actually quite enjoyable at the time. We had sex ever now and then over the next year together and continued to party together also.
When I was about 17, I had been part of the whole counter culture for about two years with the sex, drugs, and partying and it began to less fulfilling then it had initially been. I soon became quite bored and depressed with my life and even was considering sucide. At this time in was 1971 and a new group was beginning to appear on the scene in the area which I lived, which was in Costa Mesa. (Orange County) Many of the people in this new movement were people I had partied with in the past. Yes, even Cindy had joined this group. They were called Jesus Freaks. They would always come up to me and tell how much they loved me and God loved me, and begin to share their faith with me. I was always polite and would listen to them but would say maybe later I will come to Jesus. Cindy kept inviting me to these bible studies at Calver Chapel (Major mover in the Jesus Movement!) and I would always refuse, until one day she asked me if I was really happy with my life. I could never bring myself to lie to Cindy so I told her I was miserable. She said then what do you have to lose by going to a study and at least hearing about Jesus? I had to admit, I guess nothing so I went with her to a study. I was listening to the speaker when all of a sudden I felt in my heart that God loved me and that this was the truth that would give my life the meaning I wanted, so I went forward and recieved Christ. He satisfied me in a way that illicit sex or drugs never did.
I went on to college later to study for the ministry and am a teen youth paster for a large evangelical church in Washington State. I linked on to this site to see if I could find any usable stories with my youth group.
I would like to say a few things about the Jay contraversy which seems to be much of the buzz on this web site. I agree with what Jay has to say on this issue of premarital sex but feel maybe he did not communicate it the right way or was misunderstood. I as a Christain would like to tell you that I do believe that sex is a wonderful and beutiful thing that God gave us. I totally reject any idea that sex is a dirty or shameful thing. The reason I believe that sex should be only within a marrage in not that sex is bad but because it is so special and sacred that marrage is the only place worthy to express such love to another person. This was God’s ideal for people at the begining, that we would get know someone, really develop a love for them and commit our lives to them, then sex will come into the picture as an expression of that deep love and commitment in marrage.
Some people have been righting in saying that the bible does not teach sex should only be within a marrage. What do we actually see in the Bible. Even before getting to fornication passages, we see in the bible a picture of the first man and woman together brought by God to be one in marrage. Adam was declared by God to be Eve’s wife, and when they had sex for the first time it says as with other figures in the bible who had sex, that he knew his wife. The word Knew there is denoting more then the physical act of sex but a clear emotional and spiritual relationship with that person. Because a person would seek, as God intended to Know another in that special way, God declare in Genisis that ” A man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleve to his wife and they shall be one flesh”. So special is this bond that God says the two become as one person. Even without the fornication passages, a Christian can make a clear case that God’s ideal for sex was that it be exclusiveiy expressed in marrage. But those passages are there. In the old testiment law, a man who had sex with a woman before marrage was obligated to marry her unless the father of the girl released his obligatioon. Even if released, he still had to pay a dowery to the father. In some cases, pre marital sex would even result in death. In the new testiment we are told to come to the marrage bed pure. The word fornication is a broad term refering to all sex outside of marrage (pre marital, Adultry, homosexuality) and we are exorted over and over in the Pauline episles to flee all sexual immorality, even the very hint of sexual immorality. Jesus took it even further by saying that if you look upon a woman (not your wife) that you sin in your heart. Clearly the Bible teaches that all sex outside of marrage is wrong. History, affirms this reality also. Premarital sex has always been punishable in every Christian nation, from the Roman Empire of the Third centery (Christian Controlled) clear up until recently in the twentieth century. The only reason that some scholars have questioned this in recent (Very recent) times is due to a desire make the bible conform to who our society behaves today after the sexual revolution. Any serious historian or Scholar if he is honest, would have to conclude that sex outside of marrage was condemned in the bible.
What should be my response to people having sex outside of marrage whether it’s homosexuality, pre marital sex or adultry?
One person commented on the fact that As a Christian I feel we should reach out to people involved in sex outside of marrage and love them as Jesus did with the Prostitutes. We should be there to comfort people with aids, help girls with crisis pregnancies, ect. I want also to encourage them that there is a better way to live and that is what I do with my youth group. I hope noone feels that I am judging them but understands that I care for them. Jay by the way, do try to work on your spelling, I know it’s not a big deal but some people are stumbled by it.
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