Where it happened: Bedroom
Langauge: English
Sex: Male
Rating: 10
Category: Straight
I grew up in a small town during the 1950s. Attitudes about sex were much more restrictive than now. I arrived at college, for example, never having heard of homosexuality or oral sex. During high school I was too shy to date much, and the dating I did was mostly with girls who were friends but not girlfriends.
In college, I fell hopelessly in love with a girl who couldnÆt decide whether her heart belonged to me or to the boyfriend back home. While she was deciding, she engaged in all sorts of sex play short of the real thing. My college years, then, were an extension of my sexual frustration, and I routinely returned to my dorm after an evening of heavy petting with a severe case of blueball pain. For three agonizing years I explored all the variations of what was known then as being a ôtechnical virginö without ever getting laid.
I entered graduate school as a frustrated virgin at a time when sexual attitudes were beginning to loosen up a little. I had chances the first year or two in graduate school, but in spite of all my horniness I remained a virgin. I could have gone to bed with the relative of a roommate, but I knew she was a controlling bitch who would be hell to wake up to the morning after. The most tempting opportunity was a cute but not terribly smart girl in my guitar class who obviously found me attractive. When I visited her apartment one afternoon and saw what art and books she owned, I realized I could have her naked and on her back in seconds if I gave her a copy of Rod McKuenÆs poetry or maybe some flowery poster promoting love. She would have loved the schmaltzy book going around at the time, Jonathon Livingston Seagull. All I needed to do was make some sort of gesture, and her legs would have flown open for me. But I couldnÆt bring myself to do it. She was just too damned silly and romantic. As badly as I wanted to fuck her, I couldnÆt imagine making conversation with this little flower power bimbo after the act. When I walked away from her place without putting any moves on her, my penis was so frustrated it wanted to break free and live with someone who wasnÆt so proud.
Penis: ôYou couldda HAD her!ö
Me: ôYeah, but I would have felt shitty afterwards.ö
Penis: ôDid you see the ASS on that chick? Jesus! And you walked away from it.ö
Me: ôSheÆs about half as bright as your average springer spaniel. She thinks Donovan is a great artist. DONOVAN, for godÆs sake.ö
Penis: ôDid you see her TITS man? You could have had fun with them for HOURS! What the fuck is wrong with you, man?ö
And then I fell in love again, this time with a lovely freshman who filled her jeans and her blouses in ways that made me catch my breath. We experienced a whirlwind romance. One afternoon I brought her to my bedroom in our apartment. There I found a notice waiting for me. Because I had failed to apply for a student deferment on time, I had been classified 1A by my draft board. That meant Vietnam, unless I could get the board to reclassify me.
I broke into tears, tears of shame and frustration. Instead of staying home and fucking this wonderful girl, I was headed for Vietnam where I might get my ass blown off in some rice paddy outside a village no American could pronounce. How could I have been so profoundly inept? My tears flowed hot and free.
And then it happened, at long last. My new girlfriend comforted me, kissing away my tears and holding me to her. Bit by bit, our clothes came off, although I donÆt remember that happening. And then she opened her legs and offered me the ultimate comfort of her hot, soft body. I had stolen four condoms from my parentÆs bedside table, and now I brought them out. I kept lunging and lunging into my girlfriend until finally all four condoms lay scattered about like shed snake skins. I would tell you more about the mechanical details of all this if I remembered it, but even right after I finally lost my virginity what I recalled was not the physical act but the act of love. And when all four condoms were used up, I had had all the comfort I could stand.
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