I developed a crush on an officer I worked with. I had never had sex before and was afraid if he knew he would be scared off, so I talked myself up like I knew what I was doing. I was close to getting in his pants and then he resigned from our agency and went to one of the local agencies. I thought my chance was gone but we started texting one another. One thing led to another and we ended up meeting on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere. I don’t know how I did it but I managed to act like I knew exactly what I was doing. I lost my virginity in the back of a cop car and it was worth it. I knew it would hurt the first time and it did but I liked it. He was rough with me, twisted my nipples, bit my neck, smacked my ass, choked me on his dick, talked dirty to me. It was awesome. There was a little blood but I told him it was just because it had been a while. He apologized for hurting me but I told him I liked it and the few times he has tried to be gentle with me since, I’ve ended up getting him to hurt me anyway. I know it sounds weird but I’m glad he didn’t know I was a virgin because since then I’ve realized gentle sex is not for me. I don’t know what I would have done if I had started crying or freaking out that first time. And before any of you think he is a douche for being so rough with me, he is a genuinely a good guy and has become one of my closest friends. My crush on him has gone, but we still have sex and have long conversation and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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