Beth

My first time isn’t quite as pleasant a memory as many on
this site but still it was my first time – it also lead to
basically most events that have happened in the last 16
years of my life. So take it as a moral or an erotic story
or both, it happened and is my life. When I was about
18 and a half I had met this guy (Darin) thru some older
friends. Darin was 21, nearly 22 and had had sex many times
with other girls. He was also heavy into drugs and alcohol.
I was a virgin, who had just got my period in the last year,
but had a very developed body. I had only gone out with
Darin a few times, and he quickly got me into drugs and
alcohol; we’d drink, smoke pot and pop pills – that I didn’t
really know what they were. Each time we went out, Darin
tried to have sex with me but we didn’t have any place to
had some privacy. So we just felt each other up, I gave him
a couple of hand jobs and he finger fucked me. Then we’d
get so stoned that we’d fall asleep on a park bench or at
the movies. Finally, after 3 or 4 of these kind of ‘dates’
with Darin, we decided that he needed to break my cherry,
and we needed some privacy. Both of our houses were out,
because Darin lived in some kind of group home thing and
I had so many relatives living in my house, that nearly
all the time, someone was at home. So we decided to go to
this party, given by some older high school kids, where
there was going to be some great boze and dope and the
house had lots of bedrooms to get laid in. Darin and I
arrived at the party, he scored a little cocaine from
someone he knew there and we both did a hit of it. Then
we went upstairs to a bedroom. Darin had brought some
alcohol and pot and lots of those little colored pills, he
always carried with him. Several other couples were having
sex in the bedrooms upstairs but finally we found an empty
room. We took a couple of pills and washed them down with
some whiskey and then started to tear each other’s jeans off.
I had been wearing button up jeans, no panties, no bra
(although I had C size breasts at that time), a tank top and
a long sleeved shirt over it. Darin torn off my jeans and
long sleeved shirt and I ripped off his jeans, he wasn’t
wearing shorts either in anticipation of the event. He
pushed me down on the bed and spread my legs. He massaged
my large breasts with their hard nipples and then reached
down and finger fucked my wet pussy. The pills we took
started to kick in as everything became sort of surreal.
Darin spread me further and began to force his penis into
me. I was laying on the bed with my feet on the floor and
he was standing up. I felt a little pain as he pushed
against my maiden head and then more pain as he popped it.
I burned some as he continued to push into me, at the same
time I was so horny I could barely stand it and was in a
weird sort of surreal place from the dope. He pushed all
the way in, my legs were wrapped around his back, he was
now mostly laying on me. It still burned but that began
to ease as he slowly fucked me up and down. I could see
in his eyes that he was not all there either because of the
dope and as he continued to fuck me back and forth, I
began to drift a little. He was grasping my breasts and I
was holding onto his butt, I came hard. It felt as though
my cunt was exploding, I was shuddering and could barely
stand it, it felt wonderful. Darin, hadn’t come yet and
continued to fuck me up and down. After I came, I again
began to move up and down on Darin’s shaft, fucking him
back. After a few moments, Darin came and shot his load
deep into my womb. I felt him come into me and I again
came, shuddering hard. Darin paused on top of me, all
tense as he shot his load into me, then relaxed totally and
rolled to my side, while I continued to shudder and drift
on this wave of doped up bliss. I could feel Darin’s semen
dripping out of me and could hear Darin moaning and babbling
about what a great fuck I was, and could feel him moving
a little on the bed, but for the most part, I was still
drifting. I vaguely remember him saying something about
going to get some more cocaine and I think I babbled some-
thing about wanting more cock and another fuck. Darin
must have left the room, leaving the door partly open and me
laying on the bed, with my feet on the ground, spread eagle,
with nothing but my shirt on, which was pushed up around
my neck. I continued to drift, eventually I felt someone
mount me. My pussy lips were spread and a cock was
inserted in me. I sighed and was happy that Darin had come
back and was ready to start again. However, eventhough the
pain of losing my cherry had subsided, this felt like a
larger cock pushing me open. I opened my eyes half way and
saw that it wasn’t Darin, it was some older guy that was
already fucking me back and forth. I started to say some-
thing but I really couldn’t form the words and the guy said
something I don’t remember now. I was still so horny and
so out of it that I just kind of let the guy continue and
I continued to drift and come several times. I felt the
guy come into me and I came again. I heard and felt him
withdraw and roll over on the bed with a groan and some
drunken laughs from some men. At this time I started to
realize that there was more that just this guy in the room
with me. I had heard earlier some voices and stuff but
hadn’t paid them much attention. I tried to stand and
instead felt someone push me back on the bed and spread
my pussy lips again. I felt another cock begin to slide
into me, but this one felt different than before. I again
tried to stand but was pushed back and then felt something
being injected into my right forearm. For a second it
hurt and then I was swept away in a wave of orgasiums.
I kept coming and coming and drifting in a fog of drugs and
sex. I don’t know how many men had me but I’d guess that
it was several. I could feel them inserting in me,
fucking, coming and withdrawling from me. I kept coming
and coming and could barely breath. I felt hands feeling
my breasts, pussy and ass. Once I know that someone
put his cock in my mouth and tried to get me to give him
a blow job but I started to choke. He stopped and I was
turned on my side until I stopped choking and then they
continued. Eventually, I started to get really sore and
I put my hands down, trying to block them from entering me.
I tried to say something but it just came out as babbling.
I rolled to my side and I heard someone yell, “she wants it
in the back door!” I had never had anything bigger than a
finger up my ass before, but the men turned me on my stomach
on the bed, my feet were still dangling on the floor. I
think they rubbed some semen/cum on my ass hole or used
something to lubricate and then I felt them pull hard on
my butt checks and terrible pain as some guy tried to
force his dick into my ass hole. I really don’t know
how deep in me he got but it hurt terrible. For weeks
after, I had trouble sitting and going to the bathroom.
He must have penetrated me enough to get the head of his
cock into me as I remember bouncing up and down on the bed,
on my face. I tried to scream and I don’t think I could.
I could barely breath and the pain was terrible. Eventually,
he came or something, and I or they, rolled me back onto my
back. I guess they continued to fuck me until they either
got tired or passed out but after the pain in my ass, I
began to drift way even more later when they were fucking my
cunt. I had a few little organsiums but mostly I began
to pass out. I don’t know how long I was passed out or how
many men had me but eventually I woke up about 11 am the next
morning. I was totally naked in the middle of the bed.
My shirt had been ripped to shreads. The pain in my ass and
cunt was incredible. I felt like I had been torn to shreads,
myself. I had a couple of bruises and scrapes on my skin
and was laying in a very wet puddle of semen, cum, blood and
pee. On later inspection, I found that my vagina and ass
hole had some small cuts on them and had bleed some. I was
covered from my tits to my thighs with cum. I had a killer
hang-over, an incredibly dry mouth and was sick to my
stomach. I rolled out of bed, stumbled over a couple of
stoned out guys laying on the floor or bed, and could barely
stand, much less walk. Some how I got to the bathroom and
threw up. After, which I took some asprin and uppers I
found in the medicine cabinet and began inspecting my body.
I was totally trashed, looking around I saw that there were
several guys in the room, naked and stoned out. There was
a couple in the corner that looked like they had had sex,
just before they passed out and then a couple of naked guys
(that probably had me), laying about. A couple of guys
were sitting in chairs, with their pants down, looking like
they had just masterbated before they passed out. I didn’t
know what to do. I hurt so much and was so messed up, I was
covered with dried come inside and out. I looked in the
cabinet and found a douche. I had never used one before
but tried to use it and some how did clean some
of the cum out of me. Then I took a long shower and washed
myself good. Afterwards, I dried off and found my jeans,
my tank top was all ripped up and I couldn’t find my long
sleeve shirt so I took a shirt out of the closet. By this
time some of the people were starting to wake up.
I could hear some activity in the house and a couple of the
guys in the room started to wake up. One guy looked at me
funny, zipped up his jeans and left the room. The other
guy, smiled at me and asked my name and started to jack off.
I wanted to kill him, I kicked at him and left the room,
the couple in the corner had started to fuck each other
again. I really hurt and was confused, I wanted to find
Darin and ask him what happened. How could he do this to
me. I did find Darin, he was stoned out downstairs on the
couch, with two naked girls. It was apparent that he
had fucked them. I was really angry. I stormed out of the
house and started to walk home. It was only then, as my
head began to clear a bit that a small
wisp of an idea that I could have gotten pregnant from all
of this crossed my mind. I wasn’t on the pill, of course,
and I hadn’t used any kind of protection. I don’t know
why I hadn’t even thought about it when I knew that I was
going to the party to have sex with Darin, except that I
had been a virgin and I guess I sort of thought Darin might
bring a condom or something. Also, it was sort of normal
in my family for girls to get pregnant at a young age. My
mom had my older sister at 14, the next at 17 and and me
at 19. My oldest sister lived with her 2 children, my mom,
my mom’s boyfriend, me, my brother, and my pregnant
second sister and her boyfriend. So I think that it was in
my subconscious that it was normal to have unprotected sex
at a young age, and if the outcome was to get pregnant, so
be it. I was in love with Darin, in the week or so that I
had known him and I guess subconsciously (although not
consciously) I was willing to risk getting pregnant.
Anyway, on the long, painfull, walk home, I decided that
I hated Darin and that I was a fool to want to have sex with
him, to loss my cherry over him and to risk getting pregnant.
I physically and emotionally felt really bad over what
happened and felt even worse when I went to school the
following Monday and was laughed at for being a doped out
slut who had sex with over 10 men. Darin, had gotten me
pretty hooked on drugs and alcohol in the short time that
I knew him and I continued using. I didn’t think much
about the pregnancy thing, both because my periods had been
irregular, so I didn’t know when I was due, and as I was
avoiding the issue. Eventually, however, I had to admit
to myself, after several months, that I was pregnant and
that I didn’t know who the father was. I had downwardly
spiralled, using drugs and alcohol, failing and not
attending school and having unprotected sex with several
boys. I confronted Darin and asked why he let this happen
to me, he said I was a slut and that there was a line of
men in the bedroom that were fucking me when he came back
from getting some coke, so he let them have me and went to
fuck some other girls. I asked him to help me pay for an
abortion and he said that the baby wasn’t his and to take
up a collection with all the men that I fucked that night
and since. I went to a clinic but was eventually talked
out of an abortion by both the clinic and my family.
I was put in a rehab center, got off drugs temporarily and
gave birth to a underweight, drug addicted, girl, with some
minor birth defects. I had always been pretty sure that
the baby had been Darin’s as he was the first to come into
my womb. However, it was apparent when I gave birth, that
Darin wasn’t the father as both he and I am white and my
daughter was multi-racial, so her father had to have been
black. I was only 13 an a half, my body had
blossomed even more during and after the pregnancy (38DD
28, 38) but otherwise I was a wreck. I got lots of help
from agencies; for drugs, schooling, counseling, and my
baby, etc. I lived with my multi-generation family, which
included constantly changing boyfriends for my mom and
sisters and both sisters added another child. I went
thru phases of doing really good (not using, going to school,
and taking care of my baby) and then dropping into phases
of using, dropping out of school, running away, unprotected
sex with men I didn’t know and other abuse.
My little girl grew and only ended up with only minor
hearing and learning defects. Eventually, I got my GED,
got my own apartment in the same government assisted housing
project as my mom and sisters (who also moved out), and
started working a string of low paying jobs. However,
I did have a string of sexual relationships as well and
ended up having 3 more children to men that I ‘thought’ I
loved. Currently, I’m in a steady relationship for the past
year, both he and I have low paying but steady jobs and
live with both his 3 and my children. I have a 6 yr old, a
eleven yr old, a thirteen yr old and my 15 yr old daughter.
My children, especially the 15 yr old – who’s birth changed
my life, are the love of my life. Despite, the problems
I’ve been through, I wouldn’t have changed what happened,
now looking back. However, I had hoped to prevent my
children from having to go thru all the pain, I did. I
tried to educate my 2 oldest daughters about sex and
prevention of early pregnancies. However, my oldest got
pregnant at age 13, making me a grandmother at age 26. (Wow!)
I am delighted with my 2 year old grandson and accept the
fact that again at age 15, Megan has found herself pregnant
with this new, current boyfriend. So far, my second oldest
daughter isn’t pregnant and I’ve encourage the use of condoms
and of waiting until she is older, but I imagine with the
family history, it is only a matter of time. My life hasn’t
been easy, but I’m aware that I’ve cause much of my problems.
So far, only pregnancies and some simple sexually transmitted
diseases have come from my wild days of sex and drugs. Now,
I’m off of all drugs but alcohol and pot and only have sex
with my boyfriend. I’m a happy, employeed, mother and
grandmother. I just wanted to tell my story to all of you
about my first sexual experience, which changed my life,
but it is a good life, a life I wouldn’t change if I could.
God Bless!
Beth

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