I met Josh. At the time we were both deep into God. We began our relationship in church. Over time he fell back into his old ways of heavy drugs and alcohol. This was a serious problem for me and although we both knew we loved each other we parted ways. It was a very hard end to a relationship but it needed to be done. See while I was with Josh we began fooling around. I had never done anything with another guy but kiss him. I tricked Josh into giving me what I wanted while we were both in church and after he dropped out, it was a great struggle for me not to succumb to my desire to join the world in the art of Love. Even though I lived my life for God, I still struggled over my longing to share my feelings for the one person that I had ever cared about. We parted ways the summer before my senior year and throughout my senior year we never saw each other except for the occasional passing on the road. He got on with his drug life and i got on with my dating life. I knew in my heart that he was going to be my first, whether we were old. I vowed that if i could be convinced that he did love me that i would give him my virginity. So the time came for me to leave to go to my Christian out of state college. I had my bags packed and I was pumped. Finally I would be free from all that I had hated in the past. I knew that I could not leave Josh. So i made the trip to his house, and as i pulled on his road i spotted his yellow car in the drive. As I walked up the drive to ring the doorbell I knew that I would be betraying the one thing in my life that had never let me down, God. Still I rang the doorbell. Josh answered the door and he simply looked at me and said that he had heard i was leaving and was glad i had stopped by. I love to act so I went into role playing mode. I became a flirting vixen which shocked the boy that had known this sweet innocent and shy girl. He led me back to his room and sat down on his bed and began a catch up conversation. I told him of the many people that I had dated and how just simply unsatisfied i was with them. I told him of how thing and one person could give me the satisfaction i needed. I walked to Josh and sat on his lap and kissed each eye. He looked into mine and he knew what I was there for. So we began the foreplay and before we entered me he told me that whatever may come of our relationship that he loved me and that no matter how badly i felt afterwards that we had not made a mistake and that GOd would forgive us both. So that day before i left to start a new world I gave myself to the one I loved and later that night together we both prayed for forgiveness from our indulgence and i saw my greatest wish come true. Josh was saved and to this day lives a wonderful life with God. We remain close friends and I will truly always love him. In no way does my love for him compare with my love for God. Thanks for forgiving me!
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B4 I leave for college…
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