I’m blond, 5’5″ and my first time was when I knew what to do. HA! Fat chance. I’ll tell you young girls what it’s REALLY like. I was in college. I started dating a guy who was an extremely big boy. He was terribly sweet and I gave him his first kiss. Things were wonderful. I was going to marry this guy and I knew it after two weeks. Then I found out some things. Like the fact he’d been diagnosed with 3 psychiatric disorders. Things went downhill and he dumped me, insisting he still loved me. I got him back twice, and was dumped by him twice more. 3 months later we were on the phone and I still had hopes of getting him back and not losing him again. He told me he’d always wanted his first time to be with me and I pretty much was defenseless. It pm, and next thing I knew I was driving to the nearby Comfort Inn with him in the passenger seat. We arrived and he got in the shower. I had a horribly devlilish thought and tried to go in the bathroom to join him, but he’d locked it, the chicken. He used to think I’d break up with him when I saw him naked, he was so self-concious. I’m no pixie either, so I didn’t care. He joined me and for a long time we talked and then we started kissing, well, next thing I knew, my clothes were on the floor. After some prodding, he finally took off his and we got to business. I didn’t hurt much, he had a small penis. He whispered in my ear that he loved me and I asked him if this meant we were going to get back together for good. He said he couldn’t promise that. Things were kinda awkward, as both of us didn’t know what we were doing, although it was an ok experience. He never came and then one funny thing happened, I masturbated him and he came, shooting like a geyser, which made me jump and shout “Oh my god, you’re like a geyser.” We ended up laughing about that. We were busy for four hours until 2 am and went to sleep, both our arms on each other. We left hastily because we hadn’t gotten the wak-u call and I had to be back at school to get a shower and go to work. I spent the whole day at work thinking “I’m not a virgin anymore.” We had sex a couple more times and by the time, I had him moaning my name. He slept with someone else, I got angry with him and didn’t speak to him all summer. He’d slept with someone else. We weren’t dating though, so I really couldn’t say anything. He tried to wheedle his way back into my life a number of times, but there wasn’t much emotion cuz I was numb at this point. But he still had that look in his eyes I remembered from when we were dating, especially when I slept with him the night before I left college. I was graduating and had just broken up with a guy I’d been dating for seven months (when him and I were on the rocks, I’d technically cheated and fooled around with my first) but that night I thought “What the hell, you’re never finding real love anyway, might as well have fun.” He doesn’t remember much because his other personality was predominantly there that night, but I saw that old look in his eyes. I don’t really regret it, I have to say.
P.S. I have almost given up on love, I can only meet guys on the Internet and get dumped by every guy I date. I have a gorgeous friend who has guys fall at her feet, and she’s married now. If I didn’t want what she has so much I’d be alright, but I do, but I know I’m not gonna get it, so my brain struggles. Ah well.
Yes, virgins, this is what it turns out like for some of us.
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A *real* first time
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