I have been a loner all my life. My parents didn’t want me, neither did my teachers, classmates, relatives, or anyone else. I used to wonder what was wrong with me that no one seemed to be able to tolerate my presence. I’m not that bad looking, very average actually. But be that as it may be, I still have never been able to connect with people. I’m used to it now, and sometimes even appreciate the solitude, but it used to hurt so much I couldn’t take it.
Thirty two years ago I was living in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I had a tired old farm house at the end of a dead end road that no one ever travelled. I worked alone evenings in an elementary school as a janitor. It was during the summer on a Saturday that I met this amazing girl. I was sitting on my front porch staring off into the distance with nothing to do and no one to do it with when I heard a car coming down the road. Occasionally people missed the dead end sign and came down there, but most days I never heard the sound of a vehicle at all. An older convertible stopped beside my house and the driver just sat there. After about ten minutes this started to freak me out, so I went around to the car to see what was happening.
A beautiful young girl who appeared to be about 18 years old was sitting in the driver’s seat with her head resting on the steering wheel. She was shaking all over like she was crying. I asked her if she was okay and she about jumped out of her skin. She apologized for disturbing me and said she’d leave. I asked her not to go, I didn’t get much company, and I enjoyed it when I did. She gave me this sort of sad little smile and said okay, she’s stay for a while. She got out of the car and came up to the porch to sit down.
This girl was absolutely gorgeous. She was tall and slender, had long blonde hair, big blue eyes, and a figure that looked like it belonged on display in Playboy.
I asked her what was wrong, and she told me that her mother had just died the previous month, and she had gotten in an argument with her the night she died. She just couldn’t get over it. She said she felt so totally alone. That struck a chord with me, as I felt that way all the time. We talked some more and I finally got around to asking her why she had come here. She looked embarrassed, but said she wanted to get somewhere secluded and take a bunch of pills and end it all. That just hit me as the saddest thing I’d ever heard. She was so young and so pretty, had so much to live for, and here she was planning on killing herself. I couldn’t help it, I started bawling myself. This apparently alarmed her, because she kept asking me if I was alright. I got myself under control somewhat and begged her not to hurt herself. She was really touched with my concern. She came over and sat on my lap and started crying, and we both held each other and cried till there were no more tears. She finally said that if it would make me feel better she would not kill herself. I told her it would mean the world to me. We both cried again, and she gave me a chaste little kiss on the cheek before going back to her car and leaving.
I thought of her often after that, wondering if she was okay or not. Later, in early September if I recall correctly, I found myself sitting on the porch again when I heard a car approaching the house. A moment later this same girl walks around the corner and asked me if I’d like some company. I said yes, and she came up on the porch. She gave me another kiss on the cheek, sat down and proceeded to tell me what had happened since I had seen her last.
She had sought out professional help for her guilt and depression, and had found that life really wasn’t all that bad. She had gotten a new job, met some new frinds, and wanted to come back and thank me for “saving her life”. We visited for a while, and she came over, knelt down in front of my chair, and asked what she could do to thank me. I said nothing, I was just glad that things were better for her. She asked if things were better for me, and I could only shake my head no and try not to lose it again.
She said she had thought about it a great deal, and knew what to do to thank me. She stood up, and while still talking to me, started removing her clothes. When she was naked, she came over and sat on my lap and kissed me on the lips. She said “I’m yours for as long as you need or want me.” I started to tell her I couldn’t take advantage of her like that when she took my hand and pressed it against her bare breast. I felt like such a schmuck, but I couldn’t help it. I stated feeling her up, and eventually she got up, tugged me to my feet, and stripped me. We walked out to a patch of shade and soft grass where she spread a blanket. We layed down and for the next three hours or so had every kind of sex you can imagine.
We got really close, and lived together for about six months. Her decision to leave was correct, and although both of us hated to leave the other, it really was for the best. A relationship based on pity and gratitude couldn’t have endured in the long run. I have heard from her from time to time over the years. She got married to a guy she is head over heels in love with, and had two lovely daughters.
I never had either the courage or the faith to try to find someone for myself. I now reminisce about our wonderful time together, and am glad that it happened. I am happy for her that she has had a good life. Each time we talk, she says that she owes it all to me. I don’t necessarily agree, but I’m so glad she didn’t end it all that day. We never talk about the sex or what could have happened, but each time I do hear from her it all comes back. That was the only time in my life I ever enjoyed a sexual relationship with anyone.
1143 Views |
Like
loser
Processing your request, Please wait....
