Well first i have to explain a few things….a long time ago i decided that i was going to wait to have sex for the right person..not necessarily the person that i would marry..but someone that i could trust, and that would be there for me forever. So in October of 2000 i met a guy who fulfilled everything i’ve ever needed in life. we actually met online, but it was like we had known each other for years. he lives pretty far away from me, so we never got serious…we were just really good friends. we started talking more and more to the point where it was everynight for hours. in february he came to visit me and spent an amazing 3 days with me. we were completely in sync. at this point though i was not ready to have sex with him. in a way i knew that i wanted him to be my first..and we had actually talked about it but i knew that i couldn’t sleep with him and have him leave two days later.
so a few weeks went by and i decided to fly to where he lives for my spring break. we stayed in a hotel for 9 days, including my birthday. i arrived on a friday morning and we didn’t have sex until that monday night. its strange because i don’t think i really made the decision, it was just very natural for me. i trusted him with everything in my life, and i knew i could trust him with my virginity. i also knew at this point that i was in love with him, and that having sex with him was the right thing to do.
that monday night i surprised him because he thought we were just going to make out and mess around and then go to sleep. but i got him going, he was pretty aroused, and i was also. he was on top of me with shorts on and grinding on me. it was like a dream…we had candles all around us and it was perfect. so after a bit of grinding i told him i didn’t want to pretend anymore. and he said “now?”. i said “yes” i wasn’t even really nervous, i was anticipatory more than nervous. he got a condom and i watched as he put it on…he was so sweet. he kissed my forehead, and my lips so gently…running his hands down my body, then running his tongue over my pussy testing and making sure i was wet enough (which of course i was). i felt him begin to push in slowly, and i told him to just do it, to push in hard..it was amazing. the feel of him inside me….he was all i needed. he stayed on top the whole time if i can remember, and he made me feel how amazing sex really is. i was moaning very loudly, and i remember thinking how our neighbors must have felt. i can still remember his strong arms around me, his beautiful stomach right above mine, and his eyes looking into mine. it was an amazing experience, and although it makes me cry now i am glad that i did it.
after we both came we laid in bed and ate ben & jerry’s ice cream together….smiling and being so happy. we had sex many times after that night…until i had to leave. i cried hysterically as i got onto the plane, and didn’t know that it would probably be the last time i saw him.
about two or three months later he met a girl and had sex with her, shortly thereafter she became his girlfriend. and now we talk maybe once a week, and i fight back the tears everytime we talk. not a day goes by that i don’t think about him, wish that i were with him or cry over him. he is the love of my life and i don’t know how to live without him. everyone says to give it time, but i dont’ want time, i just want him forever.
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the love of my life
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