There was a very convincing old male in my Computer Science class during my sophomore year in high school. His name is John. He said he was a virgin. (After the fact I realised he’d pulled his stunt on several other girls in school and I wanted to kill him.)
John was hot. Everybody wanted him. I said hi one day and from that point he turned all his charm on me. We spent time together after school in the back hallways, him holding me and putting his hand up my shirt, sometimes kissing my neck. It was blissful for me, who had just barely gotten her first kiss. I felt naughty and devious and very wanted. He told me he was a virgin too but he wanted to have sex before he left high school. After a few days of feeling me up, he took me into the stairwell for the fire escape and I got my first feel of hot cock. I liked it. But it was just a feel because I was nervous and sometimes people used those stairs. The next day after school I met him around back in a little shadowed corner. He got me worked up and I let him use his fingers on me. That felt terrific and I didn’t want him to stop. But there was more learning to do. I remember sitting on my knees in front of him trying to get up enough courage to suck him. Once I actually latched on I thoroughly enjoyed it. So did he. He didn’t actually cum but he said he was close. After that I let him go down on me. That’s when he tried for the first time to penetrate me. I was still so nervous that it didn’t work; I backed off. So we planned another day that week to get together. I think it was on a Wednesday. We met in the back hallways again; I was shy and he was hard. We walked to the boys bathroom and he checked out if we were alone. He led me inside, to the handicapped stall. He worked me up a bit and took off my pants. There was little foreplay involved. He started to penetrate me from behind, slowly because I kept flinching. It hurt. It burned but eventually, after a long while of trying, he was completely inside me. Very gently he thrust, but I nearly screamed. People came into the bathroom so we had to be quiet… and it was difficult with a burning, bleeding pussy. I wanted to stop because I didn’t want to miss my late bus. He pulled his cock out and it burned just as badly as when he put it in. I put my pants on, gathered my things, and he checked for people around. On the way out I grabbed a paper towel to collect the blood that I felt was flowing down my leg. I stuffed it in my pants and didn’t think much about it. I was sore when I got on the bus but I had this sense of exhilaration whenever I scrinched down in my seat and felt the soreness. He sat in a different seat than me.
What happened afterwards is that I never got to be with him again because my mom made me feel terrible about it (she read my journal and called me a whore). I didn’t realise that he had just used me for my virginity until s later. I was traumatized by the whole event so badly, mentally and physically, that I wasn’t able to feel any kind of pleasure from anyone else for a year or so. And if I ever get my hands on John again, I think I will beat him. He pulled the “I’m a virgin” stunt on my best friend too, and got her.
I have no regrets except that sometimes, I wish I had been more aware of everything. All in all, my first time is best forgotten.
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