What an interesting contrast between stories 9391 and 9392. Both were about sharing a first time with a parent, and neither was forced sex as sometimes happens, but other than that, they were different as night and day.
It’s interesting that the male’s story (9391) was about a very strict religious family, but the mother was willing to teach her son all about sex at a very young age. We never found out if the father knew about it, but I would think not. I wonder how long it will take this son to find a girlfriend, in 4 years he still hasn’t had sex with anyone but his mother. But he is still very young, and he shouldn’t rush into things at any age, so that’s not really a problem. Better to wait for the right person and situation.
Bethany’s story (9392) is a rather unique one. I’ve never heard of anything quite like it before. I’m not sure if Bethany understands why it’s so hard for her father to talk about it and even think about it. Bethany, if you’re reading this, you need to understand a few things.
First of all, your father could go to jail if he discusses this with anyone, even you. If it came to that, no one would ever believe that he was asleep when it happened (a likely story…) or that he took no part in it or thought he was doing it with his girlfriend or some other person than his daughter. Judges in courtrooms hear all kinds of ridiculous stories from people trying to make excuses why they broke the law. So, no judge would ever believe him. He broke the law, even if he was asleep when he did it, and judges are fond of saying “ignorance is no excuse…” and other clichTs like that. So he has to worry about possibly going to jail. Not a pleasant thought.
Also, he was in a relationship with a woman at the time. Naturally, this relationship is going to be affected. If he tells his woman about it, what then? Will she believe him? Will she think he’s lying, or not telling the whole truth? Will she use this information to try to blackmail him? Hopefully she wouldn’t do that, but she could if she wanted. And if he doesn’t say anything about it to her, will he suddenly start acting different towards her when he sees her? Will he worry about her finding out, or about you opening your mouth and telling her about it? Or that you’ll go on the Internet and post it for people from around the world to see? Let’s see, you told us the city and state you were in… why didn’t you just post us your complete address? Of course, I’m being a little hard on you here, but you never should have pinned down your location like that. Better to say that you live in Texas or Alaska or Florida or…. anywhere you’ve never been.
If he hasn’t talked about it in all this time, he probably doesn’t want to. He didn’t want it to happen, and for him it’s better to try to convince himself that it didn’t happen. If you want to make peace with him over it, I think you need to do it in a general way. If you write him a letter, it’s better to say things that do NOT mention sex specifically. You could say things like, “I know I made mistakes, please forgive me, I know I can be thoughtless, impulsive, and foolish at times, but I need your forgiveness and I need you to be my dad.” Or, “I just want you to be happy with me, even if I’ve done stupid things sometimes…”
And by all means, do the things with him that are normal. Go fishing with him, go bowling, whatever it is he enjoys. Just do father-and-daughter things and tell him he’s a great dad and that you’re happy to be his daughter. Do your best to make it as if this incident didn’t really happen, because he never wanted it to happen.
And if you have a boyfriend or husband someday, better not to tell him about this…. if you are asked about your first time, you can either A) just say you don’t remember or change the subject, or B) tell him about your first time with some other boyfriend and say that was your first time having sex, or just make something up, a story of some kind… whatever. But don’t tell him you had sex with your father. You don’t want you husband to confront your father about it someday. Your father certainly doesn’t want that. So, do your best to make it as if this never happened. And that also means, don’t use your real name on the Internet! At least I hope Bethany isn’t your real name…… Use Susan or Maria or Kathy or Jenny or whatever…. remember, you might have a psychological need to “get caught”, but your father doesn’t!!! Better to let him live his life and forget about that one little shocking moment he had with you!!!
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Contrast – 9392 (Bethany) and 9391
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