joy

i thought since i was already 18- i was ready. i took it in the mouth before, and, guess what- i liked doing it... i liked feeling grown up and naughty:) but i thought it was time for the next step. oh god, was i attracted to his body! his body was the main reason why i decided he should be the one. i knew our relationship wouldnt last long, but i didnt care much. it hurt, but i proceeded with it. i didnt regret it. i thought id never regret it. i was wrong. when two guys later i was in a relationship w/ a guy i really cared about- i wished he was my fist one. i was the first one for him, and i wanted him to be The Only One in my body. Ever. I was attracted to his body and to his soul, i couldnt let him go... i still see him in my dreams sometimes. (of course, i dont tell my husband about it;)