stay away

basically, i hated it. i was repulsed and didnt ever want to have sex again. we were at my house and no one was home. he came onto me and, dont worry we were safe, slowly lowered himself. i was so tense that it made the experience even worse than it probably would have been. letting him in little by little at the first sight of blood i bolted out the door and into the bathroom. poor guy had to finish off by himself but atleast he enjoyed it in the end. i ended up going outside and smoking a cigarette to calm myself down since i was shaking. first person i told: 5 minutes later i called my best friend. thank goodness your 'first time' only happens once. no worries now- i find joy in the act unlike i did before :)