I had been going out with him for about a month. He was always so sweet to me, and I guess, this being my first boyfriend, I was kind of naive. But he had always been very respectful to me, and we’d slept together (just slept) in my dorm room and his dorm room before we were even officially together. We always went out on Thursday nights and usually just came back to my room and slept because my roommate leaves on Thursday nights. Well this one night he took me to this house that he was house-sitting at. He made me dinner and rented my favorite movie, and it was just so cool to have the place to ourselves. So soon we were cuddling watching the movie, and I was just laying in his lap. We started to kiss, and all of a sudden his hands were up my shirt on my boobs, and he was playing with my nipples. I got all tingly feeling and was breathing kind of heavy. Then he was taking off my shirt, then my bra, and then kissing down on my stomach. He pulled of my skirt and panties and then his tongue was inside me, and he was sucking on my clit. At this point I thought I was going to just about die, and I came for the first time in my life.
He came back up and kissed me while I got my breath back. He was still wearing his button-down shirt and khakis, and it was wierd to be naked in his arms for the first time. He started taking his clothes off, and it didn’t worry me until he got down to his boxers. Suddenly they were off and we were naked. He looked at me and asked me if I wanted to have sex, and I said that I was scared, which I was. I am very little and tight and him on top of me was scaring me to begin with. He said “OK, I love you. That’s fine. Just let me try something.” I agreed and he started fingering me, which felt real good. Then he added a finger, and I got uncomfortable because it was stretching me out. Then he added a , and I was moaning even though it hurt. Then all of a sudden he stopped and said, “Claire, that’s exactly what it’s going to feel like, are you sure you don’t want to try?” I hesitated, but then he started kissing my neck and kept whispering “I love you” in my ear. So I said OK, and as soon as I did, he grabbed a condom from next to the bed and put it on. His dick was huge and it scared me, but I took a deep breath, opened up my legs, and let him proceed. He got on top of me, put his arms around me, and I felt him at the entrance. Then all of a sudden he kissed me and thrust himself inside all at once. I screamed in pain, it hurt so bad. He asked me if I was ok and I said it hurt, it hurt so bad, I could feel the tears coming from my eyes, but he just kept going. He asked me if I wanted him to stop and I said yes, but he didn’t, he just kept goin. I guess the whole thing lasted about half an hour. When it was over, he pulled me to him and turned over so that I was laying on his chest, and I fell asleep that way. But about an hour later he was ready to go again, and I woke up with him on top of me, already inside me.
I went home to work that weekend and on Monday, right before our big one month anniversary, he flat out dumped me. Within a week he was seeing someone new, and I found out what an asshole he really is. Also, the time we had sex, because I was asleep when he started, he got away with not wearing a condom. I worried for two weeks after that that I was pregnant. He told me that he loved me and I believed him, but he should have stopped when I asked. I also should have waited until I met my new boyfriend because he is the most wonderful guy in the world and I’m sorry that he’s a virgin and I’m not. So just be careful who you do it with your first time, make sure they’re not full of shit.
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a big regret
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