Where it happened: At home
The Year was 1963. It was still the age of innocence, an age where the pill and abortion did not exist, and an age where condoms were only available over the counter, by request from pharmacies. Most teenage boys were simply too embarrassed to take this step. Therefore, to have sex was to risk pregnancy. It was as simple as that.
It was also an age where there were two types of girls, ‘nice’ girls and ‘good’ girls. ‘Nice’ girls did have sex and were considered to be no better than common sluts. ‘Good’ girls didn’t and were respected. It was an age where both the church and parents preached to girls the importance of them keeping their bodies ‘temples’ until marriage while to boys they preached the importance of respecting that temple and of not trying to pressure girls into sex.
And so, for Paul and I to have taken the giant step we did on a warm Tuesday afternoon in November 1963 was in the context of the times, a massive leap compared to the ease with which teenagers can make such decisions today.
We had first met on the school bus a year and a half earlier, when out of the blue; Paul had sat down next to me and started a conversation. At that stage I was barely 14, while Paul was just a year older. I was fortunate to have been blessed with a face and a developing figure which boys considered attractive but before I met Paul I had not been at all attracted to them.
However, Paul quickly changed all that and for the next three years we developed a relationship and a love for each other which we were sure would last forever.
Because I was so young, my parents were very strict about our relationship and we were only allowed out together in situations which were either controlled by adults, such as at youth groups and school dances or sometimes with groups of our friends, to the movies or the beach.
Despite these restrictions, the strong physical attraction we felt for each other meant that, as our relationship developed, so did the moments of heavy ‘petting’. I remember sitting in the back row of the movies, away from our friends and I would love the prolonged kissing and the excitement I felt when Paul’s hands wandered to my breasts and down between my legs. At home we would escape to the kitchen while my parents watched television. There we would kiss and embrace and hold our bodies so tightly together that I could feel his hardness pressing through our clothing.
Although nothing was ever said, I think we both knew that, if the opportunity ever arose, neither of us would be able to resist the urge to make love.
November 1963. Paul had finished his final school exams and was free until February, when he would start university. Being a year behind him at school, I was in the midst of my final exams and had the afternoon free to study for my Science exam, the next day. Science was my best subject and I didn’t really need to do much study, so when Paul offered to come over and help me, I decided to accept the offer. Despite the fact that both my parents were working and would not be home until after four o’clock, I did not want to risk inviting Paul into our home on the off chance that one of my parents could come home early, so I arranged to meet him on a bench in a secluded corner of our local park.
At one o’clock he was sitting there waiting for me, wearing a T-shirt and shorts. Because it was a hot Australian summer afternoon, I also wore shorts, with a bra and light blouse on top. We sat together and I opened my Science book but that as much revision as was done. Paul began gently stroking my hair and kissing my neck and before long we were involved in a deep, passionate kiss. Then his hand reached under my blouse and unclipped my bra which drooped loosely in front of me. With his left hand he began stroking my bare breasts and lightly pinching my nipples until they formed hard little peaks and I remember the beautiful tingling feeling this sent to the pit of my stomach.
This continued for some time until we both knew what was about to happen.
‘Let’s go back to your place,’ Paul whispered in my ear.
Without second thought I replied ‘OK.’
My house was less than a minute from the park. I clipped my bra back up and we walked, hand in hand, in silence to my home.
As soon as we had closed the door I turned to face Paul. He gradually undid each of the buttons on my blouse. I let it drop to the floor. He then reached behind me and unclipped my bra once more. It too dropped to the floor. I felt a little embarrassed as this was the first time I had ever late anyone see my body but this embarrassment was soon forgotten when Paul reached out and gently held both my breasts in his hands. He was almost crying when he said, ‘I never dreamed you to be so beautiful, Diana. I love you so much.’ With that he took off his own T-Shirt and we clasped each other closely. His body felt so warm and wonderful against mine. All I could say was, ‘I love you too, Paul.’
I then did something I had not even dreamed of doing. I took him by the hand and led him towards my parent’s bedroom, which contained the only double bed in the house. I had the sense to grab a towel on my way past the linen press. I knew what we were going to do, we were already past the point of no return and I knew that I would bleed. The last place I wanted that to happen was on my parents’ sheets.
When we reached the bedroom I pulled the covers down and placed the towel in the centre of the bed. We stood for a moment, just staring at each other, then I pulled down my shorts and panties and stepped out of them and Paul did the same. Again I felt a twinge of embarrassment as his eyes gradually took in my whole body, while he also blushed noticeably when I looked down at the erection jutting from the beneath his patch of pubic hair. I remember wondering how something so big could fit inside me and worrying how much it would hurt.
We lay next to each other on the bed and for some time simply ran our hands over each other’s bodies, getting used to our wonderful nakedness. Then his kissing started, from my lips to my shoulders, to my throat, to my nipples. Again they hardened and again I felt the same beautiful twinge shoot down into my groin. Then he reached over with his left hand and began to gently feel my soft pubic hair. We were so nanve that neither of us knew what a clitoris was but we both knew that he could stimulate me by exploring inside my sexual opening. And so he did. First one, and then two fingers went to work inside me. At first I felt nothing then Paul’s fingers found the spot which caused the most wonderful sensation when he rubbed it. I know I moaned with delight. I couldn’t help myself. And so Paul continued until I began to feel as if I would explode. I felt a moistness trickling down my leg and knew it had come from me.
There was nothing I wanted more than to feel the sensation of Paul inside me. This moment would be the ultimate proof of our love for each other. I whispered to him, ‘I want you inside me, Paul. Now.’
I spread my legs and Paul moved over so that he was on top of me. I felt his tip enter me just slightly and as much as I wanted him, I could not stop my groin muscles from tightening in fear of the pain that was to come. Then I relaxed and he pushed a little further. This time it did hurt and once again I could not avoid tightening again. This same process went on for the next minute or so but mixed with the pain was the most pleasurable sensation I had ever felt. Then he was fully inside me. I could feel the full length of his firmness and his pubic hairs mingling with mine.
Then he stopped and looked at me with a strangely pained look.
‘What’s the matter, Paul?’
‘I can’t do anything for the moment. I know if I move now I will explode and I don’t want that to happen yet.’
I smiled, ‘Then stay there forever if you want.’
After a few moments he said, ‘it’s OK now.’ Then he started a slow, gradual thrusting and withdrawal and I could never have believed how ecstatic that would be, for both of us. The sensations I was having were indescribably wonderful and overrode the pain I was feeling. They just kept on building and building until I felt I would explode and I wanted it to happen desperately. I had never heard of the word ‘climax’ but that was what was happening to me.
But it didn’t. Suddenly Paul’s breathing became deeper, his whole body tensed and he withdrew from me. I could not see what was happening but I sensed him throbbing and he was squirting liquid all over the towel, my legs and stomach. He was really embarrassed that it had happened and could not stop apologising for doing that but I was so proud of him for thinking of me and for not taking the risk of getting me pregnant, that it made me love him even more deeply.
We lay there in each other’s arms for quite a while after that, making small talk, giggling and kissing and simply enjoying the closeness of our naked bodies. I made him promise that for the next time he would be brave enough to walk into a pharmacy and buy condoms. And he did.
My first time? It was exactly what I had dreamed it would be. To make love for the first time with someone you truly care for and want to spend the rest of your life with, is the most perfect experience of all.